This isn't fat. It's relaxed muscle.

I got this earlier today from my older brother. Click to enlarge if you need to.
I agree with him. Hilarious!

I finished up at that trashed rental house today. Almost. The first time I was there I discovered that the toilet in what used to be the master bath (before the great new master suite was added on) wasn't bolted to the floor. So I went today with new bolts to replace the broken pair, and a new wax ring. Turns out the bolts were fine. The collar, the piece affixed to the foundation to which the bolts attach, wasn't affixed to the foundation. Ooops. I'm awaiting further instructions on that one.

Life holds many mysteries, and occasionally I come across one that troubles me. Today I encountered another of those mysteries.
I rented a carpet shampoo machine from the nearby Home Depot and bought a jug of shampoo liquid at the same time. The instructions call for 5 oz. per gallon of water. So why would they package it in a 64 oz. jug?
And why would they mark the outside of the semi-transparent jug with measurements that start at the bottom of the jug and go up??? In 8 oz. increments?? I tried, but I could NOT figure out a way to pour from the bottom. I tried doing the math, 64 oz. minus [5 oz. per gallon x 3 gallons] but decided it was a lot easier to use the "pour, 2,3,4" method.
I hate math.

I made my picks tonight. I had to have them in by 9 p.m. local. Totally clueless. Duke is the only team I have through to the final four that isn't a #1 seed and I've got North Carolina winning the championship. OK, now you can start laughing.

I worked on the curriculum this morning with the House hearings on the AIG mess. I'd go back and forth between the two, taking the TV off mute if it looked like something interesting was going on. I left to work on that rental house about 9:30 so I watched the evening news and read on-line to see what I missed. Don't know what to make of it all.
The CBS evening news did a whole segment explaining how performance bonuses work at large brokerage firms. Except anyone paying attention knows these were retention bonuses, a very different animal. The first gives bonuses based on results and is designed to encourage results. Retention bonuses are to keep employees from leaving, especially when a company is in deep trouble and knowledgeable execs are tempted to jump ship. The retention bonus says, "If you'll stay until Date X we'll give you $Y," thereby keeping those people on board to help the firm escape collapse. So was CBS not paying attention? Because a news organization wouldn't intentionally misrepresent the facts, would they?

But wait, there's more.
It seems that when the original bail-out bill was written it prohibited bonuses of either sort. But somewhere between writing and passage the language was changed to put those bonuses back in. That little factoid popped out at the hearings when AIG CEO Edward Liddy mentioned that the bonuses had been past govt. officials before being paid. HUH???
That sent people scurrying to find out who was responsible for putting the bonuses back in the bill, and guess whose name surfaced. Sen. Christopher Dodd (D), chairman of the Senate Banking Committee. It is, of course, just a coincidence that AIG's derivatives division is in Dodd's home district, or that they have been major contributors to his campaign.
Sen. Dodd explains that he didn't realize the wording would have that effect, and his earlier denials to CNN are not inconsistent with the current revelations.

The darkest part of our house is the area where we sit to do things like read, watch TV and work on our laptops. It's dark because it's in the center of the house, the furthest away from any window. So I'm doing research on solar tubes. They're like skylights except smaller and easier to install. I was surprised at the price but I can put it in myself; pretty straightforward. And if I'm going to do it I'll want to do it soon. Temps in the triple digit range are not ideal for work on the roof. Oh, and our roof has three layers of shingles, not the ideal situation.

Sven and Ole spent the evening at the bar and were walking home along the railroad tracks.
Sven says, "This here is da longest flight of stairs I've ever been on!"
Ole responds, "But what's really getting to me is these low railings!"