"If you pick up a starving dog and feed him he will not bite you. This is the principle difference between a dog and a man." - Mark Twain

This guy did not think about potential consequences before he decided to do this.

And I didn't imagine the consequences of last night's post. I never thought people would take me that seriously.
It IS true that the dr. called to tell Pam she's pregnant. It is also true that the dr. insists that she see an OB-GYN. But trust me (us), there is NO way she's pregnant. It has not been possible for years, even if that urologist messed up his work on me 30 years ago.
Pam got the call when she was driving a friend to the airport and laughed out loud when the nurse told her the news. She told me when she got home and we both thought it was hilarious precisely because it's so ridiculous. So my post last night wasn't all a great fiction; it started with a true story and went from there.
I thought I'd put in enough non sequitors (rent the kid out??) to make the story incredible, but apparently not. The first few congratulatory notes I got made me laugh, but after several more I began to feel guilty for misleading people.
So be assured, Pam is not pregnant, we can stay here in Sun City and Al won't be going anywhere.
Why a doctor wouldn't just order a second round of blood tests to correct a rather obvious mistake is beyond me. Pam will go to the OB-GYN in 10 days and that dr. will do precisely that.
Now, if she shows up PG on that one...we've got some serious issues to resolve!

Do you suppose that somewhere there's a dear young pregnant gal who has just been told she has the body of a 57-year old and should prepare to do things like pull chin hairs out?

My carb came today!! I put it on Gerta, but he forgot to attach a throttle return spring. So on the way home from church tomorrow I'll go into the auto parts store and get a generic spring the appropriate size, or one near enough to alter. By the end of the day I'll know if Gerta is restored to health.

My Hebrew prof at seminary was beloved by all the students. Dr. Rigsby was a short man who combined an always affable nature with unbending standards. Once he had opened his class with prayer you dared not enter. You were late, that was rude and unacceptable. He explained that people who arrived late to appointments were saying that whatever they had been doing was more important than what they were going to do with you. They chose to continue to do that instead of leave there and be on time. Sounds like a hard case, I know, but once class started his love for both his students and God's Word was so patently obvious that no one ever took offense from anything Dr. Rigsby did or said.

He was also funny. In second year Hebrew we were working through the prophet Zechariah. Each of us took turns at recitation. We'd have to read a section in Hebrew, translate it into English and then give the meaning, the interpretation of the passage. If a student made a mess of that third step Dr. Rigsby's standard tongue-in-cheek response was, "Well, that's all wrong, but it'll preach so don't you worry about it."

He said something else I've never forgotten. He was talking to us about the Book of Job. For Dr. Rigsby it was never just about exegesis - the interpretation of a passage - it was about bringing the truth of a passage to God's people in ways that impacted life. He said that when he was a pastor he preached the Book of Job. But because of the nature and format of that book he knew that, despite its length, he could not do it as even a brief series. That book needs to be preached as one sermon. That said, doing it justice means it's going to be much more than a 35 minute sermon. It's going to be a 50- or 60-minute sermon.

So when he got to that Sunday he told the people they were going to sing one song and then he was going to open God's Word to them as found in the Book of Job. He explained that doing justice to Scripture is the highest value on any Sunday morning, and forgoing a couple of hymns and a solo was more acceptable than scrimping on Scripture.

While preparing tomorrow's sermon I was reminded of that word of wisdom from Dr. Rigsby. We'll be in 1 Cor. 13 and focusing on vv. 8-10. That's a complex section, mostly because the majority of believers today don't know things that were understood by those first century Christians. And the nuances of the Greek language that aren't apparent to us were obvious to them. These verses can't be done over two sermons. That would be like combining the first half of the ingredients, baking them, and then doing the same with the second half of the ingredients, expecting to get an edible cake out of the process. So I'm moving one of the three songs to after the message, time allowing.
I say "time allowing" because, although I believe the Holy Spirit shouldn't be put on the clock, there will be two gals in the next room with something like 16 pre-schoolers. And if we EVER want them to spend another Sunday morning's worship service in with those bundles of limitless energy I do need to understand that they are on the clock.

Pam will be home from work soon. And now that she's pregnant I need to make sure everything is picked up and straightened so she can just sit down and rest.
JUST KIDDING!!