If you find it hard to laugh at yourself I'd be happy to do it for you.

If you're wide awake at 4:30 a.m. there should at least be some motivation for the day. But it took every bit of self discipline I have in me to go on my ride, and at that I got a late start. I convinced myself to go only because my overburdened conscience bargained with my unwilling flesh to do less than the Wednesday distance (normally the second longest ride of the week). Once out there my conscience took control and I did the prescribed distance, and at a stupid-brisk pace. The combination of distance, pace, late start and seasonal heat left me dehydrated, a condition I'm still feeling.

The last few rides I've noticed a noise coming from the bike as I pedal. I thought it was the front derailleur, and even stopped on my ride this morning to adjust the tension on that cable. When that didn't help I paid closer attention and realized the noise could be heard in a cycle that matched the rotation of my pedals. Bottom bracket! Because that part of the bike requires special tools I took my bike to the shop this afternoon. Good thing! The bottom bracket was coming apart, winding right out of the frame. That's a failure I do NOT want out in the middle of nowhere in this kind of weather!

This has been an ADD day in my head. Maybe that's because I fried my brain on that bike ride. For this post I'll only share one of the thoughts that ran through what Pam calls "that scary place."

I wish it was OK to tell a female that she looks good - is pretty or is dressed particularly nicely. It's not OK, of course, and I don't do it. But I think the social rules that make it unacceptable are unfortunate. While I consider them generally inscrutable as a group, I think most (all?) women would secretly appreciate the compliment. Women put so much effort into their appearance that they must want the positive feedback. But it just can't be done, because while part of them would appreciate it another part would be weirded out.

If you're a male between the ages of 14 and _____ (I'm not sure what age goes there) and you tell a female she looks good the assumption is that you're hustling her. Maybe that would be true for some guys. But sometimes a guy just thinks, "She's pretty," or, "She looks good today." No prurient motive, just an appreciation for beauty.

Above the age of 70 a man can say, "You're a pretty lady," or, "You're looking especially good today" and she'll enjoy the compliment. She may still think he's fresh, and maybe a bit creepy. But he's so old he's harmless so there's also something cute about him.

I tell my daughters they're pretty, and when they're looking especially good. I can get away with it because I'm their dad. I try to be diligent about complimenting them precisely because I'm one of the very few males in the world who can give them that feedback without violating the social code against complimenting a woman on her appearance.

When I'm 70 I'll exercise the freedoms that come with old age, and compliment women on their appearance. (Or is it 80?)
Wilson Fosse, one of God's special saints who is now in his presence, used to say, "You're looking good, and good looking, too." He'd say that to men and women. How can anyone not feel better when someone says that to them? I know I did, even if I knew he was lying through his teeth on both counts.

Ladies, I wish I could pay you the compliment you deserve when you deserve it. Alas, I cannot. Rules forbid it. So you just assume I'm thinking it - that you look lovely today - and we'll both be the happier for it.