Sermon prep day. This one needs every minute between now and 9 a.m. Sunday for percolation. Not because it's tricky content; this one's all about structure and flow. It will either make perfect sense or feel like a handful of pieces from 12 different puzzles.
I expected my post last night re. Glenn Beck would generate some comments, even push-back. I know he has lots of admirers. But the only response was, "Who's Becky?"
We spent that first weekend of our vacation with my folks in Seattle. I'm thankful for a wife who loves and values my parents; we each feel the same about them. But I was still a bit surprised when, while the four of us were eating in the Ida Culver House dining room one evening, Pam commented that she felt our marriage "rescued me." My mom was surprised too. "Really?"
"Yes."
I brought up that conversation when we were walking along the beach in Oregon a few days later.
Pam said, "When I think back to some of the guys I dated and could have married I'm thankful God brought us together."
I replied, "Yeah, and when I think back to some of the girls I dated...oh, wait...there weren't any."
I didn't have any dates in H.S. I was a complete dweeb, totally scrawny, had no social skills, a bad case of acne, and I played the cello. My uncle offered me a then-handsome amount of money to take a girl out but I'm pretty sure he knew his wallet was safe.
I determined to take full advantage of going away to college to reinvent myself as a full member of the social scene, including dating. I was successful - if you count three dates with three different girls during my entire freshman year as a success. There were no second dates. 'nuf said about the new me!
My sophomore year brought a whole new crop of freshman girls who didn't know me, and therefore might agree to go on a date. I started at the top, and when Pam said yes to a second date I figured I'd better not let this one slip away. There might never be another.
(Later Pam told me that when the sophomore girls heard who she was going out on a date with they said, "You're going out with Craig MacDonald??" At the time she took that as a sign she'd scored some kind of coup. Looking back she realizes that wasn't it.)
It is true that she dated some real losers. One was certifiable, and when she broke up with him he tried to commit suicide by driving his motorcycle into a brick wall. But he got a flat tire. Years later he decided he was God, his wife was Jesus Christ and their baby was the Holy Spirit.
So I guess it's all relative, huh? I mean, by some standard I was a great catch.
The point is, there was no Becky. I picked that name out of a mental hat, and it was just a literary device, a one-liner figure of speech. At the time I would have loved to have a Becky - someone to walk away from. But that would have first required a relationship with a girl and that wasn't gonna happen.
At this point you're undoubtedly wondering how I went from total dweeb to the smooth, suave person I am today. Or not.
Actually, I've thought quite a bit about how and why I matured, especially because it happened over a fairly short period of time. By the time I graduated from college I had been student body and class president, my grades had dramatically improved and I was getting encouragement from my profs about my future in ministry.
No question! A lot of it had to do with Pam. For whatever reason, she believed in me. That created self-confidence, something I'd never had before. We rarely accomplish what we can't see ourselves doing. When someone else thinks we can, we open ourselves to the possibilities and give it a try.
I also suspect there were physiological factors at work. I grew several inches during my freshman year, my acne improved, and I think my brain started to work better. In fact, I wonder if a researcher isn't going to find that we have some internal mechanism that moves most people into physical and emotional maturity on a gradual schedule while others are late and sudden bloomers.
But the real and true reason for the transformation is God and his grace. He often uses what look like ordinary means to accomplish his purposes. He brought Pam into my life, and whether there was some physiological shift or another set of dynamics, the consensus among all who knew me then is that my now comes as a total surprise. To me, too.
I know he's really busy, but I hope when the time comes I can have a conversation with God about what he was doing and why.
You should hear my friend Sherry's song, "Tapestry."
5 comments:
A wife's confidence in her husband is a powerful thing and is too often overlooked or neglected. With his wife's support and respect, a man is capable of far more than he could ever do on his own.
No Becky?!!? She's crushed you have dismissed her so easily. She thought you were a cool Casanova.
See? THIS is the kind of stuff girls (especially Sue) want! Great story. = )
I feel like Dave rescued me in so many ways too. Even now, if we're apart for a couple of days, I'm not as good.
Jason has a "Becky" (literally) in his past, he will sometimes say "remember when we did ....." I will often have to respond "are you sure that wasn't Becky you did that with?"
he hates that and wishes there was not Becky for me to ask about.
Stacey
Oh, I remember Jason's Becky. I remember a male student making the comment, "Why do drugs when you can date Becky?" As in, she'll scramble your brain just as effectively as any drug on or off the market.
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