Quando Omni Flunkus Moritati - When all else fails, play dead.

I needed the focus that comes with a different set of walls and another dozen #8 stainless steel machine screws, so this morning I packed up my stuff and went first to Home Depot and then to Starbucks. Now that I can speak intro-level Starbuckese I feel newly empowered.

I spent about 90 minutes there working on my lesson for Sunday and making the slides I'll use. All the while the small room was populated primarily by women, sitting in pairs at the tables around me. I wasn't eavesdropping - promise - but I couldn't help but overhear some of those conversations. Which is to say it was like a Venusian on Mars.

Anyone who doubts the innate differences between males and females should sit in a Starbucks at 9 a.m. (if they're male) or someplace like a good ol' boy restaurant at 8 a.m. (if they're female). The conversations could not be more different. Over pancakes, two over medium, sausage, and black coffee this morning it would have been Peyton's departure from Indy, the price of gas, the candidates, and the weather. At Starbucks this morning it was the husband, the kids, the girlfriend and the parents. I suppose what those conversations would have in common is the view that everything in both arenas is pretty screwed up.

One gal at the table next to me was recounting the conflict she had with her son last night, whom she told to go take a shower.
"You can't make me."
She recounts that she said, "Oh yes I can!"
I don't know if he hustled off to take that shower, but if he did he's young enough that the next line has yet to occur to him: "OK, make me."
It's not if, but when that time comes. He will say it! And when he does she'll suddenly realize she has lost the battle.
Which is why, when the boys were young, we put to good use a line I got from my dad, who used it with my sister. She could be strong willed when the mood struck her - which was most of the time.
"Your right, I can't make you. But I can sure make you wish you had!"
I seriously debated sharing that wisdom with the gal as they walked past me on the way out but decided better of it.
Every once in awhile I actually do refrain from saying what comes into my head.

Which reminds me of another line - don't remember where I heard it - for people (like me) who too often say whatever comes to mind as soon as it comes to mind.
"His brain has no 'on deck' circle."

"M" stopped in to see me this afternoon. He's 82 and lives on the next block. I used to see him often, including when I'd walk Jack past his house, but he's been AWOL for about three months. Turns out his wife had open heart surgery followed by complications. She's doing better now, which is why he was able to drive his golf cart down for a visit. M has followed with interest the progress on the VW and last saw the trailer project when I was cutting out the sides from sheets of plywood.

He stayed for the better part of an hour and ended up telling me some things very close to his core. I like M a lot. He's a kind, gracious and gentle man. He also has a heavy heart over some family issues that are beyond his ability to affect. At the end of our conversation he apologized for taking up so much of my time with his troubles, but I told him I feel genuinely honored that he would share those burdens with me.

Some people, when they learn I'm a pastor, interact with me in that way. M calls me "pastor." Part of that is because, by his own admission, he keeps forgetting my name. No worries. I told him that half the time Pam can't remember my name, so she just hollers, "Hey, you in the living room." But I suspect his perception of me as "pastor" had something to do with his opening up to me today. That's a privilege and responsibility, and one of the things I love about this job.