"We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture." - Robin Williams

Get it??

Our rooster, Lucky, woke up this morning a whole new man. He crowed repeatedly instead of the one lame attempt on mornings prior to today, he came at me aggressively when I opened the pen door (ain't puttin' up with that nonsense), and jumped one of the hens shortly thereafter. Yep, he's feeling it.

Read today about a severely inebriated 23-year old in Cincinnati who dropped trou and made a deposit on the U-Scan at a Kroger. How does he get far enough into that effort without somebody stopping him? Then again, when was the last time you could get any help at the self-checkout?

A few nights ago I wrote that I was in a fog until I was 32, and as a result didn't remember my grandparents like I now wish I did. Friend Sue sent me an email asking why I was in a fog and how it lifted, so I replied with an explanation. She told me I needed to include that in a blog post, so here it is, FWIW.
____________________

32 is hyperbole. I got married at 20 and I was emerging then. 

I was a late bloomer, both physically and mentally, a runt in both categories. Several reasons:

• The grade cut-off for the Seattle schools was 11/1. Born on or after that date and you waited until the next year to enter K. I was born 10/30, so I was always the youngest, smallest, and least developed mentally and physically.
• I don't know if there's a cause/effect, but I was extremely introverted and had very low self-esteem. That contributes to a downward spiral. Be small, feel small, act small, be small.....
• I'm not inclined to be overly sympathetic with people who have very low self-esteem. You'd think I would be, but I know what it produces: extreme emotional self-centeredness. Everything - and I do mean everything - that happens is evaluated in terms of how it affects ME, real or imagined. Every social interaction, event, conversation, etc. I asked myself, "what do people think of me?"
• And that produces a fog. The person or event itself hardly exists except as it affects me. I didn't pay attention to people, I payed attention to what they thought of me or how they made me look. Same with events. It's hard to explain apart from saying something like...think of what it was like to be 13 and multiply by a factor of 10 and extend it from K through (in my case) something close to 20. 

What brought me out? 

Dr. Jack Dean calmly asked me in class, "Why does everything have to be about you?" 

Slap upside the head. I'd never thought about myself in that way, but it took me about 24 hours to realize he was right. I paid attention and saw it in action. 

At the same time I had my first ever girlfriend, the first real girl who ever went out on a second date with me (and only the fourth girl to go at all), to hold my hand, and...to KISS me. Perfect medicine. 

I was in the pastoral program, which req'd me to do Christian Service assignments that involved teaching. I got really positive feedback from that, which gave me confidence, which strengthened my teaching. 

God. He decided, for reasons I can't begin to fathom, that it was time. He brought all those things together (esp. Pam) at just that time. 

God.