"This applicant has delusions of adequacy."

The guy on TV says it's going to be very pleasant here, at 97. Facebook helpfully tells me it's going to be hot here, at 97. My weather app says it's going to rain in Elmira this Saturday, the day I'm back and want to be back to work. Hmmm.

Yesterday we went out to see Sheila and her goats. This is the only pic I got because we were too busy talking. More accurately, Sheila was too busy answering all my questions. But every time I have an opportunity to talk to a goat person I learn a lot, and this was no exception. Besides, we love Sheila and it's always good to spend time with her. (Yeah, I should have taken a pic of her, too.)

We've decided to at least delay getting a LGD until our kids are older. In the meantime the electric fencing I'll put up should keep them in and the bad guys out. When the time comes we may pass on an LGD altogether and just get a real outside dog instead of what passes for a dog, at least in Pam's view.

We started listening to The Racketeer (John Grisham) on the way down and finally finished it yesterday on the way out to Sheila's. Good book!
I searched online for free audio books and found a site with loads of classics from all genre. I downloaded  and Robinson Crusoe, two favorites that I can (and will) listen to repeatedly. Then Steve brought home True Blue by David Baldacci, a "summer read." I put them all on my iPad so I can plug it into the USB port on the Kia's head unit and listen without swapping CD's (in the case of Baldacci). These three give me more than enough for the ~21 hour drive home, so we'll have left over for our trip to Seattle in October. We'll probably save Silas Marner for that because it's 6 hours long - almost perfect for that trip - and Pam's never read it.

This morning as I listened to and watched Michelle getting the kids ready for preschool I thought about how much energy it takes to parent - physical and emotional. It all went fine; the kids were cooperative and all But between getting them dressed, fed, lunches made and packed, and potential meltdowns assuaged, all while getting herself ready for her day's work, she must feel exhausted before she's backed out of the garage...through the door whose opener decided this was the morning to FAIL.
And in case you're wondering, I tried to help where and how I could. But 14-month old Emily is a bit suspicious of the stranger with the big scary voice and only hesitatingly let me put her shoes and socks on.

And observing all of this had me thinking, "Why would anyone voluntarily choose this?" Besides being stupid hard work, the potential for emotionally wrenching outcomes is at least equal to the chances for positive results, given the seriously screwed up culture we live in.

I can answer that question in retrospect for Pam and me. We didn't really "choose" parenting, we just rolled into it with even less awareness than we had for our marriage. We'd been married for about three years, I'd finally graduated with a degree and had a real job, and having kids would be...fun. And normal. Even after three years of marriage we were way young, at 23 (me) and 22 (Pam), so wise reflection wasn't something we practiced on a regular basis.
There's an Irish proverb that says: God protects children, fools, and drunks." We fit two of those three categories, and here we are over 40 years later (I'm too bad at math to be more precise) with two sons we are extremely fond and proud of.

Steve & Michelle started out planning to skip having children. After about 10 years of marriage and well past youthful naivete' they made the conscious decision to have kids. And they're both really smart and thoughtful. Huh?????
How do you explain that?!

I'm reading The Problem of Pain by C.S. Lewis, and in the first chapter he writes of the common sense reason for believing in a personal, holy God. It's very good and pretty deep. Not Baldacci.
He makes the case from normal reflection that the only way to explain human nature and inclinations is that the Origin of what we see is an invisible, omnipotent, personal Creator.

I think that's the only way to explain the conscious and thoughtful decision to parent. Goats don't think about it, they just do it. But parenting is easier for them because they're not sentient beings and no teenage goat ever got into drugs or crime. At least some parents decide there is worth and value to bringing life into this world and - in the best case scenario - doing their best to raise up a responsible, virtuous young adult.

C.S. Lewis is dead, but if he were still alive I think I'd write him a letter and tell him to amend his first chapter with the example of Steve & Michelle. Aside from God I don't know how you explain this phenomenon.