I'm finishing up a re-read of Swiss Family Robinson, a fairly shameless retelling of Robinson Crusoe, but still a good and easy read. I decided today that my next book needs to be The Count of Monte Cristo. It's been decades since I read it and remember the book as an engaging story, thought provoking, and well worth my time.
About all I remember is that the main character lives on two parallel tracks. He embarks on a determined effort to avenge his cruel betrayal and imprisonment by someone he thought was his best friend, while at the same time going to great lengths to aid two young lovers so they can, despite great misfortune, have a future together. Two efforts, one very personal and negative, the other done for others and positive.
If you've never read it do so. Soon.
I thought about that book this morning after hearing a story on NPR. I can't remember what the story was about or why it triggered my memory of the book, but those kind of mental rabbit trails are fun, and sometimes well worth the trip.
In this case I went from The Count to something that happened to me and came up in a conversation at our small group last week. At each meeting someone is called upon to share briefly their life story with a focus on their spiritual journey, with that week's individual then choosing who will do the same the following week. Last Tuesday was Pam's turn. At the end of her account one of the gals said to Pam, "Name two high points and two low points in your life."
She easily gave the two big blessings, but didn't want to name the two lows, "because it will just make me cry." Her mean old husband added something to her talk (about what a great guy her late dad was), and then urged her to identify the lows.
Yep, she cried, and never got to the second one.
A few years ago I was accused by someone we thought was a friend of very serious charges that would mean the end of my ministry. Pam said she knew immediately the charges were false, but because they were made to people within our church and eventually to the elders it all became very public. The elders had to investigate, and three weeks later the facts came to light, I was cleared, and we were affirmed by the elders (they correctly understood the toll it took on Pam). That was a brutal three weeks while we waited, not knowing what the elders would decide, and discovering that many chose to believe the accuser and encourage others to do the same.
At that point I had to decide; do I seek retribution or let it go? The Count of Monte Cristo.
Because I'm a servant (see the post just previous) I didn't have a choice. I'm told (not asked) to forgive and that precludes revenge. Big parts of me really wanted to tell people I had been lied about, relate the falsehoods and the proof to the contrary. To trash this person like they'd trashed me.
Not allowed. Forgiveness is commanded.
I never crossed paths with that individual again and hope I never do. I'm still angry about it and the toll it took on our church, on me, and on my wife. The good news: the Bible nowhere tells me I have to feel good about that person. Forgiveness is not a feeling.
It's not forgetting, either. Our "forgive and forget" is both not biblical and not possible. Whew!
Forgiveness IS foregoing any retribution, any repaying in kind, any action that does to them what they did to me. As tempting as it may be (and it is a temptation in the fullest sense of that word) I must not do or say anything which portrays that person in a negative light, even when doing so would be an honest recounting of the facts. Let. It. Go.
"'Vengance is mine. I will repay' says the Lord" (Rom. 12:19).
Mentally recalling all of this took me just a second or two but was a good and necessary exercise. See, sooner or later I'll be chosen to be the person to share my story at our small group, and I'll have a decision to make. If Lannie asks me the same question she asked Pam I would also pick that as one of the lowest points. And I will if she does. But any elaboration and/or identification of who that person was would violate the biblical command.
As satisfying as the Count's ultimate victory over his earlier oppressor was to read it must not be my story.
I am a servant, and servants don't get to decide, they have to obey.
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