"Next time you give your clothes away, stay in them." - Henny Youngman

Yesterday's goat conference in Clackamas was interesting and informative, both formally and informally. People watching at a gathering of goat herders didn't disappoint. Like the 50-something lady wearing camo and a T-shirt with "God, Goats, and Guns." Every demographic was represented, and because it's Oregon alternative lifestyles were evident.

I chose a presentation of butchering for the first of my four sessions. It gave me some good tips but no major revelations. I've read and watched You Tube videos so I had a good idea of the basics. I learned that there's no need to hang a goat for a couple of days, that the fat is layered instead of marbled like beef, that you do NOT want to cut the stomach open, and that the neck makes a great roast.

Next came a session on parasites, and that was almost enough to scare anyone off of raising goats forever. Mostly it's worms of one sort or another, and detection & cure is critical or you'll have a bunch of dead goats on your hands. All goats have worms all the time, it's about how many they have. Finding out the answer to that question involves a microscope from Amazon.com and freshly gathered goat poop.

After lunch: kidding. For something so natural there sure are a lot of things requiring intervention. I need to be ready to stick my hand WAY in there to reposition a kid not smart enough to come head first. Or sort out which kid goes with which feet and get them lined up like planes landing at LaGuardia. Or suck crud out of their nose. Or "we're going back in" for the placenta.

And then: diet and feeding. I was relieved to learn bloat (deadly) only happens from too much alfalfa eaten in the field, not baled in the barn. And that companies use salt and/or molasses to trick goats into eating the minerals they need.

I left the house at 6 a.m. and got home at 6:30 p.m. The four hours on the road combined with the sessions had me totally wasted, and the coffee, Diet Coke, and junk food consumed to keep me awake had my stomach churning. But a good night's sleep has me feeling much better.

I confess that if Pam wasn't working with the 2-year olds this morning I might be talked into staying home from church (it's 6:30 a.m. as I type this). It's been a hectic week with the trip to Seattle followed 12 hours later by the trip up to Clackamas and back. But the rain all afternoon will justify sitting in my chair and doing pretty much nothing in recovery mode. I'll light a fire as soon as we get home, pour myself some coffee, and watch the PGA or whatever other sleep-conducive programming I can find.

There's more, but it's time for a shower and heading off to Starbucks for our Sunday morning pre-church internet session with service sufficient for doing some research on the availability of original 4-lug wheels for a '66 Mustang, and from there to UFC.