"There it was, hidden in alphabetical order." - Rita Holt

We were in the upper 80's today. Yes, that's about 12 degrees above normal for this time of year but it's great anyway. I wore one of my sleeveless jerseys for today's ride and shorts all day long. The humidity as I type this is at 8%. This kind of weather is why people live in AZ.

My new rose garden is doing well.
And look what I noticed this morning!
All but one of the bearded iris I planted shows growth.That black stripe is a micro-system soaker that seems to work well.
These iris are planted along the right side of the rose bed in thefirst pic above, which is the far side as we look out the slider. So in another couple of months we should have roses with a backdrop of iris.

The average public school teacher in Wisconsin makes $78,000 per year in salary and benefits. In Milwaukee the average is $100,000.

My mother-in-law is in the hospital after a bout of weakness while out shopping at Costco the other day.
When your wife leaves you a voice mail that says, “I don’t know if you want to call her, but mom’s phone number at the hospital is...,” well, even I’m not that stupid.
She hopes to be back home this evening.

Here’s a web site that shows the prevalence of any last name in the various countries around the world. You can then narrow it down geographically from there. Who would have guessed that there are more MacDonalds per capita in New Zealand than in Scotland?

Muscle weighs more than fat.
Yeah, that’s the explanation. I’m bulking up.

I read an article today about the likely elimination of Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac and, with them, the end to the 5% down mortgage. We may soon be back to the day when buying a home requires 20% down and PITI can’t be more than 30% of your income. That got me to thinking about cars.

I want a fast car. I’m not talking Italian supercar, just something with enough performance to put a legitimate grin on my face. CooperS, GTI, MazdaSpeed3, something in that category. My problem, of course, is that I can’t afford even these modest thrill rides. So I’ve come up with a strategy to make it happen anyway.

The first step: define owning a fast car as the American dream. There’s actually a precedent for this. A U.S. President way back when said something about “two cars in every garage.” Or maybe it was just “one car in every garage,” but that was before two-car garages, so he didn’t know any better. Now we need a President to say, “a fast car in every garage.” (Note: this will require one of the other cars to be moved into the driveway, which in turn allows the govt. to define what constitutes an adequate driveway.) By identifying ownership of a fast car as an element of the American dream it becomes clear that I am entitled to a fast car, and to deny me one is...well...unAmerican.

Step two: since I’m entitled to a fast car Congress should set up an agency to insure I can realize that part of the American dream. Banks should be regulated so that they can’t deny me a loan for the purchase of a car that will do 0-60 mph in under five seconds. OK, six seconds. I don’t want to seem greedy. Built into these regulations should be language requiring non-discriminatory lending so broad that any applicant can find something to leverage his application. Eyelash length should do the trick. Banks’ protestations that such auto loans are too risky must be silenced by a quasi-governmental body that will insure those loans. That means banks will have almost no legal reason to refuse me. If the bankers figure out government-guaranteed loans provide them opportunity for almost unlimited profits at virtually no risk and then discover ways to maximize those profits, we can throw the robber barons in jail. Or, just hold Congressional hearings about throwing them in jail.

Then I can go down to my local dealership, shop for my new fast car, put .6% down and get the rest financed. All of this has the added advantage of boosting the American economy. Manufacturing, sales, banking, aftermarket retailers (gotta have some dubs!) - our entire economic system is strengthened. And don’t forget all the government positions, from the Motor Vehicle Department to bureaucrats in Washington who will get permanent jobs as a result.

And here may be the best part of my plan. If we can just get owning a fast car defined as part of the American dream the rest falls into place and...(wait for it)...it’s permanent! Hey, who would now ever question the notion that owning your own home is an essential element of the American dream? Renting (and Kias) is for losers, as compared to people who buy homes they know they can’t afford but might lead to a financial killing if the housing market just continues to spiral senselessly upward.

But wait! There’s more!

We’ve already ingrained into the American psyche that the next generation should, yea must, live at a higher standard than the current generation. Apply this to the fast car dynamic and it means my kids should own a sub-five-second car and my grandkids a sub-4-second car!

OK, I think I may have uncovered a slight flaw in my plan. Having seen Caedon at play, the notion of that kid behind the wheel of a seriously fast car may not be in his or our best interests.