Cigarettes are like squirrels - harmless until you put one in your mouth and light it on fire.

The Washington Wizards are not the NBA's top team.

Today I Learned:

If you use your shirt to clean your glasses it's a good idea to check first to see if you have any construction adhesive on that shirt. 

Corollary: if you run out of hairspray construction adhesive will do the trick - and then some.

(I have NO idea how I got it in my hair.) 

In case you can't tell, I worked on the trailer today. The electrical is done, the cabinets all done save for doors, and the masonite skin attached to the roof. That's where the construction adhesive comes in. 

We went out to dinner for Pam's birthday. Nothing real fancy - a chain that runs all across the lower tier of states called Mimi's Cafe. Just basic food, although they pretend to be French. I had turkey, mashed potatoes, dressing, veggies... pretty close to a Thanksgiving dinner and nothing close to French. But they do say "Bonjour" when you walk in the door, so that counts. 

I generally don't like going out to restaurants. It's so artificial and annoying.

"Hi! How are you guys doing? My name is _____ and I'll be your server tonight." 

I understand they're trying to establish a personal connection as a means to increase their tip but I don't want a personal connection. I want good food with minimal interference from anyone not my wife. 

And when they kneel down to establish eye contact at the same level... can we dispense with the charade? 

It goes downhill from there, with a return every five minutes to interrupt your conversation without so much as an "excuse me," to see if everything is OK (no, we still don't have world peace) and if there's anything else you need (yes, someone to keep me from getting construction adhesive in my hair). 

Many of them, including tonight's server whose name I'd forgotten 3 seconds after she said it, have a very artificial, affected tone to their voice. Miss Congeniality. I want to hear the way she talks to her boyfriend when he's 20 minutes late to pick her up because the ballgame went into overtime. 

If it's up to me and not someone's birthday we'd go to Paradise Bakery, known as Panera Bread in the upper midwest (same parent company and very similar menus). Good food ordered in a cafeteria-style line, some of it put on your tray, paid for at the cash register, and what has to be prepared is then delivered to your table by a guy who takes away the plastic number you got when paying. If you want more to drink... get up and fill your own glass at the dispenser. When you're done, get up and leave. You already paid, and the same kid who delivered your meal will clear the table. 

Going out to eat is about two things: good food and conversation with my wife or whoever my/our companion(s) is/are. 

Carl's Jr. is food only in the loosest sense of that word but going there Sunday allowed for easy, uninterrupted conversation with our friends, the Chaffins. (And it's cheap, always a plus.)

I suppose it's different if you go out dinning. Then the center of the experience is the food - at least to my way of thinking. But I can't remember the last time we went dining. Not really our thing and too pricey for our budget. 

Am I a curmudgeon?