"A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband." - Ogden Nash

We're at Starbucks for our standard pre-church cup of coffee (tea in Pam's case) and internet at a decent speed. I had a lousy night thanks to this cold, but the day's to-do list is only as long as I want to make it. I'm recording the F1 race, the Russian GP, so I'll probably watch that this afternoon and maybe work on Sally some. Or not.

I've been thinking about the conference I attended and the primary speaker, an expert they brought in to tell us about his solution to the ineffective ministry plaguing us all. And therein lies my problem.
Somebody said an expert is a guy who comes in from at least 200 miles away, carries a briefcase, and has a system. I didn't see any briefcase, but the pile of books he had for sale more than made up for it.

When I hear one of these guys telling us we're getting it wrong and expounding on the essential key to effective ministry they've discovered I wonder how the local church has survived for over 2,000 years without their expertise.
There's almost always some kernel of truth in what they say, but typically they latch on to one aspect of biblical ministry - a dimension that's been effective for them - and turn it into the elixir that will make us all into Apostle Paul Jr.'s. With no shortage of self-confidence they promise that if we'll only do what they've done we'll experience the success they've enjoyed.

For most of the sessions I sat next to Paul, who was my associate at CBC, then the Sr. pastor when I left, and now pastors a pretty good sized church in Spokane. We had a similar reaction to the guy, and shared our reactions during breaks. At one point we wondered which of the responses the assembled group had:

1. This is GREAT. I'm going home and do this immediately!
2. This is bogus, but I'm too polite to challenge him during the Q&A's.
3. I'm pretty sure this is bogus, but he's an expert so maybe I'm the only one thinking that. 

Except for Paul I pretty much kept my opinion to myself. I did talk to the newly-appointed (and excessively young/inexperienced) CEO of our group very briefly. I suggested that before we latch on to one aspect of ministry as the be-all and end-all, maybe we should ask a question that I think precedes it logically: What does the Bible say are the essential functions of the local church? Not the exclusive functions, but the aspects of ministry that must be present in every church that designs to be biblical. 

I knew we'd hit on a problem when his eyes looked up toward the ceiling and he got this, "Oh, that's an interesting question. Hmmmm" look on his face. 

Heavy sigh. 

I haven't said anything so far because I was sworn to secrecy for the near term. But my mother-in-law told people at church this morning so I consider the veil lifted.

While we were back in MI we had b'fast with Pam's brother and wife who live there to talk about what comes next for their 94-year old mom whose mental and physical condition continues to slip. Nothing dramatic, just the expected slide of extreme age. 

The next day Pam and Tom talked with her about options, including finding an extended care facility she could move into. 

SHOCK!!

She immediately agreed it was time.

BIGGER SHOCK!!

She agreed to begin the search immediately. And now, three days later and after one visit to one place, she's made up her mind it's the place for her. 

We've said one/both of us will come back and help with the disbursement of her considerable collection of almost everything. (To say she's turned into a hoarder overstates it, but not by much.) Plans will depend on the date relative to kidding season here on Baker Rd. and how many kids Sundae has. If there are bottle babies one of us has to stay. 

Family. 

I feel feverish again. Time for some Ibuprofen and a modest supper, followed by an early bedtime.