The word pathetic is most often used now with a negative connotation. The Seahawks were pathetic today, or the candidates' behavior was pathetic. But the denotation of the word is "causing or evoking pity, sympathetic sadness, sorrow, etc. Pitiful.
On the way home from church Pam told me something that is the definition of pathetic.
We had Thanksgiving dinner at the Thomas's, a couple roughly our age who are both still working but plan on retiring in January. They also invited Carolyn, a sweet woman who I think is in her 70's. Carolyn is originally from "Looziana" but has lived here in OR since her husband Chester retired from the Coast Guard years ago. Chester died last August after an extended illness and Carolyn misses him something fierce.
After a great dinner John and I were in the living room watching the rest of the football game while the three women were out in the kitchen cleaning up after the meal. Pam listened while Carolyn asked Lorraine if she would do her a favor.
"If I gave you some money would you mind buying a Christmas present to give to me and putting Chester's name on the card?"
Carolyn insisted that Lorraine spend no more than the amount she was given (when asked she said, "Oh, about $40").
How pathetic is that?! I don't care a bit about whether that's healthy grief or maudlin, it's just pathetic. It's her first everything without her dear Chester and she's feeling lonely. I used to tell my pastoral students that there's no right or wrong way to grieve; everyone does it in their own way, and the only important thing is that they get through it.
We've gotta figure out some way to brighten Carolyn's Christmas. I'll be in Seattle (maybe Pam too if we don't have goats to take care of), so we'll need to get creative.
BTW, before I knew any of this I saw Carolyn at church this morning. Hadn't met her before last Thursday but she's the kind of sweet lady who you want to hug, so I did. Now I'm really glad I did that.
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