Pam attends a ladies Bible study on Tuesday mornings and this morning I drove her in so I could run some errands and save another trip to town. I went to the big feed store to get some chicken feed, some cracked corn (they were out), ad some shoes (too $$$, even on Tuesdays when seniors get 10% off).
After I had paid for my feed I heard the guy behind me respond to the perfunctory "How are you today?" from the cashier.
He responded, "Fine. I read about King Ahab and Jezebel this morning."
Now there's a pickup line!
We got a dusting of slush overnight. By the time we left MoHo, a little before 9 a.m., the roads were just wet, but it was enough to make me think how tricky it would be if we ever got real snow out here. Our place on Baker Rd. is far enough back on twisty hilly roads that getting in our out would be tricky.
Nope. We'll just stay home with the new coffee maker and the wood stove.
Another peak behind the curtain:
My last two churches were SO easy to pastor. Great people whose first instinct was to be compliant and cooperative on any issue that came up. Previous congregations included people not so inclined, and I had to learn some coping skills on the fly. When I was teaching at the college I passed on to my pastoral students some of the tricks I'd learned, often the hard way.
One of the basic ideas behind martial arts is to practice defensive moves ahead of time so that when the crisis conflict arises and you don't have time to think, you react instinctively. The same is true in ministry. When someone comes up to you with their undies in a knot and goes on a rant you'd better be ready with the appropriate response because the natural anxiety of their onslaught will tend to induce brain freeze.
The worst is when they do this in public, like in the hallway right after the service when you're tired from the preaching effort. Yeah it happens. So I mentally rehearsed, and taught my students to rehearse, three possible responses. "Know them so well that you can recall them by Reply #1, #2, and #3."
When they've gone off just long enough to have released enough of their steam for you to respond:
#1: "I've heard what you said and I'll think about it."
#2: "We'll talk about this, but not here and not now."
#3: "We're not going to talk about this, not now and not ever."
That last response was saved for issues that involved a matter of confidentiality or off limits for some other legit reason, like it was a matter for the elders only.
Yes, I had the need to use those three at various times. Once I had a guy so incensed at me that I wondered if he was going to get physical, and this was a guy with a history of doing that with his wife. He got in my face in the foyer right before the sermon. The congregation was in singing and I was out there waiting for "my turn" when he came up to me all worked up, confronting me about something we don't need to identify here.
As soon as I could I pulled out #2, using just those words and no others. I said that and he started over. Held up my hand to stop him and said it again.
The good news: he figured out I wasn't going to engage him. Repeating it a second time convinced him there was no point in pressing on, so he gave a mighty "hrmph" and walked off.
A little extra adrenalin going into that sermon!
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