"Too many pieces of music finish too long after the end." - Igor Stravinski

That quote up there also applies to too many sermons.

Decades ago when I was doing some serious running, including marathons, I read that if you were doing sub-8 minute miles you were a runner. Anything over that meant you were a jogger. At the time I was always sub-8 and liked that delineation.
Now I'm old and can only dream about sub-8's. I might be able to do one mile at that pace but it would require a 911 call and a week in the hospital to recover.
Today I'm sure that if you go 4 miles when it's 40 degrees and raining you are a runner, regardless of the pace.
I am a runner!

A friend who reads this blog asked me via email if I heard back from the recipient of the email I referred to in last night's post, and if so did they apologize.
Yes, and sort of.
The first line of his reply was, "I'm sorry you feel that way." When I read that I smiled on the inside at what I recognized at the clever wording.

I used to teach my pastoral students the difference between "I'm sorry" and "I'm sorry you feel that way." The former acknowledges culpability while the latter says nothing more than "I wish you didn't feel bad" without admitting any responsibility for those negative feelings.
Pastors will often have someone come to them who's really agitated about something that isn't legit. I'd tell my guys, "You can try to convince them they shouldn't be upset, but that's a) probably futile, and b) will just make things worse. The key is to let them vent, which means focusing on their feelings.
"I'm sorry you feel that way. What is it about this that makes you angry (or hurt, or sad, or...)"
It's almost always less about the issue than about their emotions. Admitting culpability when you're confident you've not done anything wrong is dishonest and enables their unjustified anger instead of helping them to grow. But the first step, long before we can discuss the merits of the case, is to deal with the emotions involved.

In the case of the issue I wrote about I'm not angry, or hurt, or sad, or....  I don't want to participate in conversations with someone who is consistently and so thoroughly critical of people who love God and are serving him faithfully. So when I saw "I'm sorry you feel that way" I knew his goal was not to draw out my emotions but to say the "right" words without admitting any culpability. That's OK.

We did an easy favor for some VIF's from Newburg, about 90 minutes north of here, facilitating their flying out of and into the Eugene airport, keeping their car here while they were gone. As a totally unnecessary expression of gratitude they brought us some coffee beans. As they gave them to us it came out that we don't have a grinder. Pam buys beans at the store and uses their grinder, bringing home what I can put right into our French Press.

Today the mail carrier brought us a package. Goodness! This is Cuisinart! Way too gracious of them, and way too fancy for MoHo. Pam and I decided this is counter art and isn't going in the cupboard.

I usually have a cup of coffee an hour or so after dinner, the perfect compliment for the three homemade cookies I allow myself. Tonight that cup of coffee is gonna be first class all the way!