"There are three side effects to acid: enhanced long term memory, decreased short term memory, and I forget the third." - Timothy Leary

The fact this post discusses an event from two weeks ago indicates the angst I felt/feel over the incident. But I think I'm ready to discuss it here. And because this is a place I've tried to be somewhat (my sons would say "too") transparent it seems appropriate to share it with you.

I can't remember preparing as thoroughly or praying so diligently about a sermon as I did for the message I preached at our church New Year's Day. Reasons for that included, first and foremost, it was a presentation of the gospel as portrayed by the healing of the leper in Mark 1:40-47. Also, I was asked by our pastor, Brett, who's never heard me preach, and that represented a real step of confidence on his part. Plus, the opportunity involved a particular pitfall I've allowed to trap me in the past: I think about how I'll be perceived instead of how God's Word will be received. Whenever that happens I look back and realize I did a poor job. So I prayed hard and often that I'd get out of the way and think only about my sacred duty (two words that I think appropriately describe the preacher's task).

Sunday afternoon I felt reasonably good about how things went. I thought I'd been clear with content and effective with delivery.
Boy, was I wrong!

Brett called me Tuesday morning to tell me he'd received some very negative feedback about my sermon from a number of people, reactions so strong that he couldn't just let it blow over. Some official response was required.

At about the 1/3 point in my sermon I talked about the moment when the leper is healed, his horribly disfigured flesh restored to full and pure health. Not just that he was healed, but that he was restored!
"Amen?!"
Very little and very weak response from the congregation.
"Amen?!"
Only slightly better muttering.

So I said....
"Did you know that White people will be the first ones in heaven? Yeah, the Bible says, 'The dead in Christ will rise first.'"

It is at that point I lost much of the room. Many in this somewhat ethnically diverse congregation took GREAT offense at what they understood to be a racist statement.
Maybe you're thinking the same thing I was when Brett told me about this.
What????

It seems that some of them heard only the first half of that quip and seriously thought I was saying White people rec'd that special privilege. Others heard both sentences and didn't get the joke. Both took offense and heard very little of what I said after that.

But wait! There's more!
In describing the leper's effusive reaction to Christ I said that "most of us here are of western European descent, and therefore naturally reserved. Mediterraneans, though, are very expressive. What they feel on the inside comes out on the outside and gets expressed openly."
Yep, more racism.

But wait! STILL more!
In explaining our sin nature I told about a big dog we once had that was half Black Lab and half Irish Setter. At least that's what we thought. Maybe more accurately, "mother was a Black Lab and father was from a good neighborhood."
Yep, racist. I was playing on the stereotype of inner city Black women who get pregnant by White guys from the burbs.

This insensitivity to racial issues come to Brett from enough people that he checked with his sizable staff who, to a person, agreed with that assessment.

If you know me at all you know how seriously I take preaching and can therefore understand how completely devastated I was by Brett's phone call. He recommended that an apology from me was appropriate and I agreed that he could write it for inclusion in his weekly email. If I'd stepped in it once I could easily step in it again, and since he knows the cultural environment better than I do I was more than happy to let him put those words in my mouth. Twenty four hours later that email went out (earlier in the week than is typical) and damage control had begun.

Our small group meets Tuesday evenings for a meal together and then (like most of our church's small groups) a discussion of the previous Sunday's sermons. This was a little weird because the preacher was sitting in the room. As we moved into that portion of our time I whispered to Pam: "Should I tell them?" Yes.
So I related to them my phone conversation from earlier that day. And lost it. Yeah, I take preaching VERY seriously, consider the presentation of the gospel the pinnacle of that effort, and had been told a few hours earlier that I'd screwed it up...big time.

Our small group is made up of young adults in their late-30's and early 40's, and they are VERY gracious. Those who were there (it was New Year's Day) assured me they heard no racial disparaging and thought it was a good sermon. They stopped to pray for the two of us (wives take it in the gut when their husbands take it in the guy).
That meant a lot to me.

By Thursday I needed to talk with Brett again, so we met briefly at his office. I'd gone from devastated to angry. People are sheep and we have to allow them to be sheep. But that the staff heard racism struck me as both factually wrong and in inconsistent with several passages of Scripture, incl. the command to talk to ME about it, and to start with an approach more aligned with 1 Cor. 13, where love "believes all things, hopes all things...." That is, rather than jump to conclusions about someone they don't know anything about their first reaction should be, "I'm sure he didn't mean it that way."
Brett corrected me. They did NOT come to those conclusions about me. He only meant that they understood why others had.
OK.

This morning we went to church. I didn't want to. Because they had cancelled last week because of the ice/snow storm it was the first service since I preached.
Our church does this thing where greeters at the door offer (encourage) you to let them make a name sticker that you wear. She asked me what my name was and I said, "Fred." Fly under the radar.
A few people came up to me and commented about my sermon, and all were very encouraging and supporting. Yes, they know about the kerfuffle because they'd read about it in Brett's email, and assured me they took no offense and got my point.

Take-aways:

• Eugene has a distinct culture (see an earlier post). It's Oregon (very blue), it's a university town, and is the most PC conscious place you could imagine. 
• I told Brett when he asked me to preach that the first rule of the guest speaker is, "Do no harm." Screwed that up! In our conversation Thursday he said he'd like me to preach again. "I'd rather do my own dental work than preach at our church again." The risk/benefit ratio isn't close. 
• Sometimes God doesn't answer our prayers. Years ago I read an essay titled, "Some pray and die." That doesn't mean that their petitions were wrong, were prayed with inadequate faith or fervor, or that the prayer was prodigal. Sometimes God just says no. I have no idea why, but I believe he has his good reasons. 
• Some people have triggers, an overused word of late. Brett suggested that in this case many (most?) of those who took offense were millennials, a demographic it seems is particularly inclined to triggers. I think I'm growing intolerant of Christians with triggers WHEN those triggers cause a response inconsistent with biblical values and behaviors. As in, get over yourself! It's not about you. "We have to reach millennials." Yes, but at some point we go so far to accommodate any group's preferences and characteristics that then, when we've reached them, we've set a pattern of "this is OK." How do you transition from "we have to reach millennials by adapting to them" to "Now you've got to be someone else with different values and responses"? It becomes bait and switch. 

Well, we're home from church. The goats are fed and out to the barn, we've had lunch, and the first of two football games is on. In an hour I'll go over to Marta's to borrow a kennel she thinks will fit in the back of the Kia and contain Stella. Next week will be easier, I might not have to be Fred, and it's likely no one will talk to me about my sermon. 

"Forgetting those things that are behind..."

MoveOn.Craig

This post is just so you'd know what's been an even bigger deal here recently than a couple of sick goat kids.